Getting over it...and being Thankful!

I've been feeling really blah lately.  I don't even really know why...  I haven't felt any inspiration to blog or do much of anything to be honest.  So today I decided it was time to get over it.  Rather than feeling this way, I decided I'd be much happier if I at least tried to do something productive.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a major slob or let things get too unruley, but I just haven't wanted to do much more than what has had to be done lately.

I started with getting the house cleaned up.  Joelle mentioned I might feel better if I get my Christmas decorations out.  I don't have a whole lot, but I hauled out what I have and put things around.  It'll be much better once we get our tree, but I refuse to get a fake, so we will have to wait a little longer so our real one doesn't die before Christmas.  Little by little I started feeling more motivated.

I came across the Christmas paper I had every intention of hand making Christmas cards with last year and thought I could do something with it.  I know better than to attempt to make 50 or so handmade cards this year!  I found some frames, took out the pictures (only until after christmas though) and put the paper in them.  And...tada!

This simple craft helped me totally get in the Christmas spirit.  Even though we haven't even gotten through Thanksgiving.  I know the reason I am feeling blah is because I have to work Thanksgiving, so I think part of me kind of put that out of my mind and am skipping Thanksgiving and moving right on to Christmas!

However, I am still so Thankful for everything I have been blessed with again this year.  In our service yesterday, the message was about finding Peace.  Peace can only be found through God.  You cannot find it on your own, and in fact trying to will only make it harder.  I am really trying to remember that this season.  There are so many things that are out of my control and I cannot force anything.  I can only continue to pray that God will give me the strength to keep on going and hopefully share Him along the way.  I pray for a lot people this season, that they may find the Peace that only God can give.  So take time and look to Him.  You will be thankful you did.

End of Summer and a New Chapter

I just looked back and realized how long it really has been since my last post.  We had a whole summer since then, kinda.  We went to Lake Roosevelt with Lisa and Corey and the kids and Michelle and Peter.  It was so nice and relaxing.  The weather was great the whole time and the kids had so much fun playing together.  Almira is in love with Ryan and Finn and loves following them around doing everything they do.

I already can't wait for next summer.  I really hope we are able to go again.  We are so lucky.

So after going through pictures to remember what we did, I realized that we were pretty busy.  We had a bachelorette party for Becca in Whistler, and then Kaitlyn and Dan's wedding and Becca and Cole's wedding.  It was so fun to spend all this time with my friends.  We have a pretty unique/fun group of friends.  It's always a blast when we're all together.

We were also able to spend a night with my family on my dad's side.  There's about 12 kids between us cousins, with more on the way.  So it gets pretty crazy now when we do these things.  We are so blessed to all have kids around the same age, just the way we grew up.  They loved their ice cream cones!

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So after a busy end to summer, we've been winding down by spending more time at home.  We celebrated Adam's birthday this weekend with a salmon bbq with family and friends. 

I am able to blog on a Monday morning because I finally made the decision to quit my job with SSK so I could spend some much needed time with Almira.  I was able to get a job waitressing at The Reserve (Homestead) three days a week.  It's a wondeful schedule so far!  I get off at 2, so I am able to have dinner ready by a decent time and don't feel as rushed as I did working full time.  This came after taking a leap of faith and trusting that this was the path God was leading me down.  I felt like I just let go and let God do His thing.  I am so happy that things worked out this way.  We can truly be happy when we let God do the things He has planned for us.  I have been trying to just let things happen instead of planning and trying to map everything out.  If there's one thing I've learned in the last year or so, is that nothing is in my control.  Things are going to happen, good or bad, but as longs I trust that God's plan is perfect I will not feel out of control.

Jesus Calling, September 9th

Walk with Me along paths of trust.  The most direct route between point A and point B on your life-journey is the path of unwavering trust in Me.  When your faith falters, you choose a trail that meanders and takes you well out of your way.  you will get to point B eventually, but you will have lost precious time and energy.  As soon as you realize you have wandered from your trust-path, look to Me and whisper, "I trust You, Jesus."  This affirmation will help you get back on track.

The farther you roam along paths of unbelieve, the harder it is to remember that I am with you.  Anxious thoughts branch off in all directions, taking you farther and farther from awareness of My presence.  You need to voice your trust in Me requently.  This simple act of faith will keep you walking along straight paths with Me.  Trust in me with all your heart and I will make your paths straight.

Waiting for Summer

I'm sure I'm not the only one waiting for Summer to arrive.  I think I've spent the only few nice days inside.  Nonetheless, we've still been able to enjoy it.  Life has been busy with random things.  Nothing inparticular and mostly things we WANT to do, which is nice!  It's been forever so this could get long since I'm going all the way back to Memorial Weekend.  We were able to go to Lake Roosevelt with half of the family.  It was really nice and relaxing.  We had a lot of fun and can't wait to go back the end of this month for a mini vacation!

Adam can't sit still (ever!) so he built this bench.



Hopefully next time I'll actually get a tan!


A weekend later, Julie and I went down to Seattle for the annual Race for the Cure with the VanDiest women.  We decided to run and walk it this year.  So we ran our first 5K after a couple weeks of training.  I was really proud of us!  We have stuck with running and plan on doing the 5k Fun Run at the Razz fest this weekend.



Before (I was so nervous!)

 

After (I felt great!)


 

We've also just been spending time around home.  Adam's been working really hard on our garden.  It looks great and his bean poles are a work of art!  I can't wait until we get some good veggies!  He did a couple side jobs and we've both been working.  We are so blessed with the jobs we have.  I just wish I could work less and spend more time being a mom!  This weighs heavy on my heart and mind every day.  I just keep praying that God will give me the direction I need to be in (and I will listen!). 

Ruger got a haircut!

She loves Apple Jacks :)

We got a new Niece/Cousin sweet Noah!

We went to the River for Father's Day

Eating strawberries from our yard! (plus feeding them to Ruger)

My most favorite roses from our yard!  I dont know why they remind me of my mom.

Almira and Daddy at the Park

Almira and Mommy at the Park

Being silly!

Flower Bunco

Pirate Bunco (being pirates)

Playing outside.  She loves her boots, but always falls and skins her knees :( (see the bean poles)

 Eventhough we've all been busy doing our own things this summer.  My sisters and I went shopping at Alderwood last Saturday.  We very rarely get together anymore, especially without our kids.  This is something we used to do with our mom and it was so nice to get away.  We had a nice cocktail lunch and then did a little shopping.  I bought Almira her first box of color crayons and oh my goodness, I didn't expect her to be so happy about them.  This is all she's been doing all week.  I love it!


She loves her chair pulled up to the coffee table.



Coloring so good!



Cheese! This girl knows when the camera is out!



It's much easier to explain everything we've been doing in pictures.  I've been feeling pretty good for the most part.  We are anticipating this Sunday as we will become members of our church and Almira and Adam will get baptized together.  I am so anxious for this!  We don't love getting up in front of people but what better reason!  I wish so badly that my mom could share this day with us.  I wish it was something we could have done when she was here.  But I honestly don't think I would have been at this point in my life if things didn't happen this way.  I've had to put a lot of faith in God in the last year and have grown so much because of everything that has happened.  I know my mom would be so proud of that and that gives me comfort. 

I looked ahead a day in my Jesus Calling book, but I am so glad I did so I could share it with you.

July 14 Jesus Calling

Keep walking with Me along the path I have chosen for you.  Your desire to live close to Me is a delight to My heart.  I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you.  together we will forge a pathway up the high mountain.  The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak.  Someday you will dance lightfooted on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy.  All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to My hand for strenth and direction.  Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparking surprises just around the bend.  Stay on the path I have selected for you.  It is truly the path of Life.



Much Needed

As always, where has the time gone?  These last few weeks have been really busy, not that I'm expecting it to be any different.  We're no strangers to a hectic "on the go" life.  But we choose it, so I am not complaining.  We have been blessed with Adam working another turn-around for Matrix.  This included 12 hr days, 7 days a week.  He works so hard for us and we are so looking forward to our vacation to Maui in December!  Plus, the turn around is over!

I've been busy hosting this and that.  I hosted a shower for a friend from work, a bbq for Adam's cousin who is moving, and then bunco last night with my friends.  This forced us to get some major spring cleaning done.  Last week after Adam got home from working 12 hour days, he helped me in the yard and in the house.  We organized and weeded, etc.  But I am so happy we got this all done.  Sometimes it takes hosting things to get your house the way you want it!

Amidst all the work, we try to find time for ourselves.  I am so thankful we are able to pamper ourselves a little bit!  Adam got me (us) a couples massage at Semiahmoo for mother's day (thanks to Rob!).  So last Saturday night after Adam got home from work, we went out to Semiahmoo and enjoyed an hour couple's massage.  It was so nice!!!  I highly recommend it!  We weren't sure if we were going to stay out there or not, but since Adam's parents were able to watch Almira over night, we decided to take full advantage.  So we went for a delicious dinner at Packer's and decided to get a hotel room.  Sleeping in until 9 am on a Sunday morning after our hectic week felt so wondeful!  You forget how much you need something like this until you actually do it.  I am so thankful we were able to get away for a night and take a little break from reality!

I am home today because Almira got sick in the night.  Which is actually a blessing in disguise because  I think God is saying, "Slow down!"  I'm like, Ok!  Almira is down for a nap and feeling much better.  I really should be packing.  We are going away for the long weekend to Lake Roosevelt.  I didn't now when I was going to pack, but now I have all day, thank goodness!

I still struggle day to day facing life without my mom.  I had a dream the other night with her in it.  She wasn't sick and we were just doing normal things.  It's nice having these kind of dreams once in a while.  Usually they're just the same over and over of us taking care of her or she comes back and she's still sick.  I miss her so much.  Even though things get a little easier, I still long for the day I get to see her again.  Which reminds me!  Adam and I took the new member's class at our church.  It was so good and we are both really excited to join.  This is something my mom would be so proud of.  Adam didn't grow up a christian and he started going to church with me and my mom when we were in high school.  It's a special bond that the three of us had.  In the class we were asked why we wanted to join and when we became christians.  I was speechless when Adam said it was my mom and I who had influenced him to make the choice to become a christian.  This is something I prayed for since I met Adam.  I am so excited to take this step as a family and I know my mom will be so proud!

Well I better go pack!  Maybe next time I'll have pictures to share of our weekend away.  Hopefully with sun in the background and sand in our toes :)    

feels like a lifetime

Like usual we have both been busy with work and life.  I struggle every day trying to convince myself that I'm doing the right thing by working full time.  At this point, I really don't have any other choice and I trust that this is what God has planned for me right now.  Tonight I was having a hard time.  I haven't even wanted to make dinner lately.  I've really  been slacking in that area.  I think I just about gave Adam a heart attack when I told him I made meat loaf, potatoes and corn for dinner.  He was pretty excited to hear that after working a 13 hour day!  Him being that excited about meat loaf made it all worth it.  I have a happy family and that is all that matters at the end of the day!

I have been anxious about the month of April for a really long time.  The last few weeks have been filled with my birthday, easter and most importantly the year anniversary of my mom.  Not knowing how I was going to feel and anticipating these milestones has been somewhat stressful.  Looking back on the last year is weird.  It's really hard to explain.  Sometimes I think I don't remember any of it and then sometimes it's like it just happened yesterday. 

Facing a year without my mom has been unexplainably hard.  But the hardest part has been getting beyond the year mark.  I feel like now I have to face that she's actually not here.  We went through all the firsts, but now it's the fact that she really isn't here and isn't coming back.  Things will NEVER be the same.  It's crazy how I am just now realizing this.  I mean, I knew that from the beginning, but you don't know how it feels until you're feeling it.  You can feel numb for a while and then sometimes it just hits hard.

I am in a good place despite these feelings. We were able to celebrate Easter by doing all the same traditions we did with my  mom. It's these things and my family that get me through.  I'm sure we all feel the same way.  We all try to be so strong together and keep doing what my mom would have done.  I think it really helps to do these things.  The kids really make it all worth it.  God had a perfect plan for our lives.  He knew we would need these kids.  They are awesome and I am so thankful! 

I continue to trust that God's plan is working perfectly for my life.  I will try my best to give it up to Him because that is all I can do.