I know, it's been over a month since I blogged last. It's hard to even say why. My computer has been down and I feel like I've been down with it. I don't really know why. There's always a reason, but not a particular one that comes to mind.
I don't have a lot of "spare" time. It's something I really wish I had lately. But at the same time, I feel that if I did have that spare time I'd be thinking of everything else. But who am I kidding...I've been thinking of it anyway. Mostly I've been reminded of what was happening last year.
I was a mom to a beautiful 3 month old girl. Adam's dad was in the hospital and my mom was in the hospital. We really had no grasp on anything at that point. I felt like everything was spinning out of control and it only kept going.
I'm in a hard place now too. The other night I was doing dishes and I looked outside to the sun hiding behind the clouds and I saw the trees in the yard covered in shade a certain way, instantly I was reminded of Spring, to me, the time I lost my mom. There's so many emotions that come with this time of year. Mostly of loss and sadness. The last time I ever had a real conversation with my mom was in a hospital room. I will never forget the words...too special to share.
It's just hard. There's a lot going on in my mind and I'm sure my sister's and my dad's mind's too. It's not easy but we find happiness in the little things. The things that my Mom would have enjoyed.
Tonight I got to enjoy some alone time. Adam and my dad went fishing for the weekend. Time I'm sure both of them need. Then tomorrow I get to go to Seattle with some girlfriends and stay the night. Almria gets to have a slumber party with her gramma. That time, I am so thankful for! She is one lucky girl! Anwyay, I really am looking forward to getting away from things for a night. I think it is much needed for the month ahead.
I really wish I had pictures to share...but with my computer crashing went all my pictures from the last year... I will try to post some next time and not be so blah... Until then, this is what you get. I do have to remind you...God has been doing a lot. I am so thankful for what he has placed in my life over the last little bit. I was able to read "Heaven is for Real" and let me tell you , I feel so much more at peace knowing and believing my Mom is sitting with Jesus. Please read it if you haven't already. I have a lot going on in this head of mine... I hope I can keep sharing, its just not always easy.
